Anna admitted to being homicidal. But nobody listened. Now a man is dead.

I listened to the podcast, and I grew up with a mother with BPD with rage issues and violent tendencies. I cannot tell you how much instability it caused in my childhood and as an adult. The only way I have managed to survive my adulthood is with the unequivocal support of my husband and his defence of our physical, emotional and mental boundaries. I have been there begging her to admit she's suicidal and the on-call hospital psychiatrist releasing her. I've experienced her try to kill me in a rage, physically attack my three year old daughter and attempt to king hit my 6'3" ex-cop 100kg husband. She has had encounters with the police but because she is the wife of a professional with standing within the community, well-spoken/presented/educated they let her off, or if she appears before the magistrate they give her a light slap on the wrist. I will not be surprised if I get a call from the cops that there has been a homicide at my parents house - my only question will be is - is it my mum who finally killed my dad or my dad who finally cracks and kills my mum for the 40 years of sh*t she has heaped on him?

I found the podcast really, really hard to listen to, in fact it actually made me cry. I found the level of denial and enabling by the mother really emotionally confronting as it resonated so strongly with my own experience, I absolutely felt for Kate as I understand how awful it is to be part of a family where one person is causing complete carnage and in my case, its my Dad who is enabling and denying, and NO ONE else believes you or helps you, because Mum can act normal when they need to. When you are dealing with a psychotic BPD all they will do escalate their behaviour if they feel they can get away with it, with Anna all the red flags were there - which Kate and her Dad clearly saw, I've had times when my mother has spiralled (and everyone around me in denial until Mum finally gets arrested for a non-violent crime), not to the extent of Anna but I feel if my mother had been a drug and alcohol abuser our experience would have been similar. In my mind, it like Anna was a garden variety BPD who exacerbated it with drugs. And there is no cure. That is who they are. The behaviour is them, it is their personality.

It is a dreadful burden for the community, for families and a great shame of our society that the do-gooders back in the 70s pushed to shut down the involuntary residential facilities. Because people like this now have to commit a terrible crime to get the help they need. I remember spending most of my childhood wishing someone would take my mother away for a year and fix her and bring her back. Then I spent most of my adult life coming to terms with the fact that it was not my fault and I can't fix her, nor can I save my father, and punishing myself by making bad choices was not the solution. At the end of the podcast I thought well at least Anna is getting the help she needs and she has not had a child, because the sins of the mother are a terrible burden for a child.